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How to Use Social Networking Sites

by Suzann Kale

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People use social networking sites to expand their circle of friends and acquaintences. If you feel satisfied in that area right now, chances are a social networking site is going to just waste your time. But if you want to be part of a larger, more global group of friends - if you enjoy other people and are curious about the world - a social networking site can be fun, it can expand your world, and, by taking a few precautions, it can be reasonably safe.

The other question facing you if you choose to go global, is: how deep into this do you want to go? You can easily spend hours each day keeping up with people, chatting, instant messaging, emailing, posting, and on and on. So you must decide before stepping into this quagmire:

•how much time you want to spend each day on this

•how deeply involved with other people you want to get (light, fun acquaintences? heavy, in-depth relationships? love or romance? people to simply share experiences with on a surface level?)

•exactly what your boundaries for yourself are.

Without pre-determined boundaries, you can get in a whole lot of trouble. Hours out each day can be lost to social networking, you can get caught up in other people's dramas. Before you enter into the social networking website scene, make a written list for yourself of what you want out of this experience-to-be, how much time you have for it, and how you can protect yourself if others overstep their boundaries with you. This is how you will stay sane.

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Begin by choosing just one site to become involved with. Explore it deeply and take advantage of the marvelous technology and platforms that your site has to offer. Give it a week or so. If you're unhappy with the results, cancel your account and go to another site. Try again. Eventually you will find a group of people with whom you feel totally at home. This will be your site.

It could be a multi-layered site like Fabulously 40, where you have the opportunity to post, to write opinions, to comment on others' opinions, to create and display your own articles, to make deep friends with other women, to be a part of a real community. I love Fabulously 40 - it's intelligent, the women are wonderful, it has many opportunities for each person to express herself, and the owner of the site is an excellent leader. She keeps things moving in the right direction and is directly involved with the site. She's accessible. (http://fabulously40.com/)

It's best to be "known" at one site, than to be madly posting on 10 different sites where no one will remember you. You'll get more out of the experience, and I've met some women through these sites who will be lifelong friends. Even if I never see them in person!

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